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  • Chapter 21


    WITHOUT WARNING


    Shara
    sits deeply
    inside of her mind,
    trapped
    and
    obviously uncomfortable
    causing a swarming sensation
    just like insects
    scattering throughout her body.
    she grabs her meds,
    holds them so very tightly in her hands
    and
    thinks for a moment
    before surrendering them
    back to the kitchen counter top.
    she will have
    nothing more to do with them.

    she
    travels through
    her painted forest green home

    drifting mostly

    until
    finally landing
    in her eclectic living room.
    she stops and randomly admires
    a few of her things,
    such as some framed pictures
    of family and friends,
    a large and beautiful orchid
    growing in a handsome handmade vase
    and other small items of interest
    she's collected
    and treasured over the years.
    everything she touches
    holds some special meaning.
    but
    then she begins having trouble
    facilitating certain thoughts
    and thinking patterns.

    Shara
    likely finds
    herself in a tug of war
    way deep inside of her mind.
    she openly frets
    and occasionally weeps
    until she completely breaks down
    and cries most inconsolably.
    using a nearby pillow from the sofa,
    she blots and wipes away
    her tears.

    she
    is about to move on,
    but
    her demeanor
    quickly disintegrates
    into a grip of adamant hostility.
    without warning,
    she grabs her beloved possessions
    and angrily tosses them
    one by one
    across the room,
    as they in turn hit other objects
    and fall to the floor
    and break,
    while others ultimately crash
    through various windows.

    Shara
    stands firm
    trying her very best
    at remaining brave
    inside a complicated
    and frightening world
    that she herself has constructed.

    a thought
    occurs to her.

    she
    unexpectedly
    moves way over
    to her antique desk
    and
    hastily reaches beneath it,
    her hand frantically searching for something
    until she finally comes up
    with a key
    and
    uses it to unlock
    the desk.

    she
    pulls open
    a lower drawer
    and rapidly removes things
    until she gets to a sleek wooden box
    near the bottom
    and places it on the desk.
    her hands tremble
    as she opens it and reveals
    a stunning work
    of highly polished metal

    her
    .44 magnum.

    Shara
    takes a long deep breath
    and momentarily appears
    remarkably calm,
    but
    also quite determined
    while removing the gun with one hand
    and grabbing some bullets
    with the other.

    she
    flips open
    the hefty cylinder,
    loads it with six bullets
    and clicks it shut.
    she gets a good grip of the handle
    and with a trembling hand,
    points it at her head.
    the young woman takes another deep breath
    while pulling back the hammer with her thumb
    and
    shuts her eyes tight
    as some tears roll free,
    streaming downward and staining her cheeks.
    she then lets out a fearful breath
    and hastily squeezes the trigger...

    CLICK!

    the
    bullet doesn't fire.
    she cocks the hammer again,
    rotating the cylinder to the next shell
    and rushes herself before losing her nerve.
    Shara squeezes the trigger yet again...
    and again

    CLICK!

    she
    removes
    the gun from her head
    and with a mind full of questions,
    goes about checking out the weapon
    until finally finding the cause
    of the malfunction...
    she's aghast to discover
    that there's no firing pin any more
    on the hammer.
    somehow it's been filed down,
    rendering it totally useless.
    she's then hit by a sudden realization
    that an intervention has been performed
    and
    quite obviously
    without her knowing.

    Shara
    goes ballistic and screams,
    "goddamn him
    to fucking hell!"

    she
    throws
    the ruined gun
    as hard as she can
    across the living room
    and sends it crashing through
    another window.

    she
    rushes
    into the kitchen
    over to the counter
    and yanks open drawers
    eventually finding the right one.
    the woman digs out
    some single edge razor blades.

    Shara
    is fit to be tied,
    and in a painful fury
    says,
    "fuck him!
    creeping rat bastard!"

    she
    advances
    toward her phone
    sitting on the far counter
    while dispatching everything in her way
    to other parts of the kitchen,
    even sending some items
    breaking through more windows.
    Shara grabs the phone right next to the meds
    and begins sobbing uncontrollably,
    yet still manages
    to dial the number.

    she
    speaks
    while gasping
    through her tears,
    "this is all your fault
    you ruthless and rotten fucker!"

    and
    throws
    her phone
    across her frighteningly enclosed world
    situated in her suddenly claustrophobic kitchen.

    and
    just like
    a fierce tornado
    touching down to earth
    and sucking her up,
    Shara storms out
    and quickly flies off
    to another part of the house,
    most likely ready
    to implement
    a Plan B.


    ~~~~~~~~


    (c)2015 Miles Ciletti
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