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  • I have been to a psychic twice.
    Both times it was a large group of people -probably hundreds. I do believe this person has psychic abilities. I have some abilities, but not for others, but sometimes I can connect without trying.

    Why I went both times, I'm not sure. I told myself that I believe, so I really don't need to be there. The first time, I felt an energy when someone near me was "read." I felt sorry for the psychic. There must have been five hundred people there. The second time, maybe three hundred.

    The second time I went, I sat towards the back on the aisle. The seats to my right were empty. As the room filled up, several women sat down next to me. I knew one of them. She was a nurse supervisor for the agency I did my Master's internship at. I thought that was really odd, that at a psychic event with hundreds of people, someone I knew would sit next to me. Then she introduced me to the two women next to her. One was her sister.

    I immediately knew why they were there. When I was working with the nurse, towards the end of my internship, she had gone on a family leave. The story I heard was her young nephew had died. Her sister had a big property and her son had been out riding his bike. He had been given one of those superman capes and was wearing it while riding his bike. Apparently, there was some kind of freak accident involving the bike, the cape, and his neck. I don't know all the details but he didn't make it. It was a shock to the family. Just one of those tragic things that doesn't make any sense.

    Finally, the psychic came in and started doing readings. Again I felt sorry for him with so many people in the room. He was finishing a reading near the front and all of a sudden he said, "John Wayne." The woman he had been reading said it didn't make any sense. The psychic starts looking around and says, "John Wayne, I'm getting something on John Wayne."

    I can tell you now, I immediately knew it was my father and it was for me. When I was a kid we watched John Wayne movies together. If my father was trying to get my attention from the other side in a few words, "John Wayne" would do it.

    I was telling myself to stand up but my feet felt like lead. I was paralyzed by so many people there. No one responded to "John Wayne" and I knew it was for me. I'm practically shouting to myself in my head, "Stand up! stand up!" Yet still, I didn't move. With no response, the psychic moved on. You see, we really do have free will. Even when the heavens are shouting in our ear. What a disappointment we must be at times.

    I felt racked with guilt. Not only for not responding to my father, but I was absolutely sure that this nurse's nephew would have come through as well if I had stood up. I am still sure. They would have had some reassurance that he was ok, and it might have provided some comfort. And as the mother of a young boy at the time, I couldn't imagine their pain and frankly didn't want to. Maybe that was part of my hesitation, I don't know.

    The readings went on but at that point I was lost in my own thoughts of guilt. I know enough about myself to know I would have been a conduit. It was no accident that in a group of three hundred people this nurse and her sister sat next to me. Little did they know they sat next to a betrayer and a coward.

    It's true. Nothing anyone will say will make it untrue. It's different if you don't know, if you are a bystander or unaware. I have been in those situations before and its different. But when you know something, ...., really know, ... you are responsible for it. So, this is something I have to live with.

    I haven't been to any psychics since then.

    Even if you have a magic ring, some memories don't go away. I guess guilt has a purpose. It reminds a person that they have a responsibility for knowledge and acts of ommission can be as bad as acts committed.
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