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  • It's all completely true.

    New Years Ever quickly dawned upon Wednesday morning as I was awakened by my seemingly stressed mother. She hustled through the house with a Dunkin Donuts coffee cup in her right hand while she flipped and twisted a pencil between her forefinger and her pinky. The aroma of fresh brewed coffee eventually lured me from the warmth of my teal bed sheets and my day began. I swung both legs off the side against the metal railing on the side of my bed before examining my toe for the first time that morning. At approximately eleven thirty last night, I had frantically rushed to assist in the repainting of my bathroom walls from "Diarrhea Brown" to "Rainforest Mist"and the pinky toe was butchered. As I went to step, my toe caught the Xbox console and proceeded to twist and crack. The swelling was instant. It was beautiful shades of purple and deep maroon as the toe flopped to the side of my foot. Realization hit me before the pain did. It was lovely. So lovely. That night ended with an ice pack and laughter of the ingenious that caused my injury.
    As my feet smacked against the tile floor, I cringed from the pressure placed on my now crooked and discolored toe. The smile vanished my from my face as I groggily dragged my static body to the bathroom. I finished with my morning routine and exited the room and into my once again to dress for the day. The weather was intended to be sunny with a slight breeze but it was actually spitting rain and there was a large depression of dark clouds surrounding the entire area. This was problem one as I continued to dress for the now fifty-eight degree weather that invaded my city streets. The gloomy clouds weren't going to keep my spirits down as I decorated and rearranged the backyard for my New Year's Eve bash that would take place at seven-thirty in the evening. In this process, I had two buckets filled with water and one with a bleach mixture to clean the surface of a table and the hot tub covering. Without realizing it, I bleached my hand and experienced some discomfort and burning as my flesh began to burn and bubble. Thankfully, it wasn't extremely serious so I continued to work. I loaded trash bags, carried them to the truck bed for dumping and proceeded to impale my leg and scratch up my hands. I cleansed the wound and continued to work despite my occurring injuries. Finally, the night approached and the time was coming closer to party time. Excitement once again filled my body as I began to find my clothes for the party. I placed them in the bathroom and jumped into the shower. I washed my hair with shampoo, some of which went into my right eye, and rinsed it out. I reached out for my razor and began to rid myself of the small hairs attempting to create a home upon my skin. I was feeling good and clean until the moment everything went down the hill or should I say, down the drain. As I began to shave my right leg with new razor, My left foot slipped in the residue of body wash on the tub floor and I slipped. The razor dug into my skin and was torn away. The searing of several skin layers and the hair in that place now hung in the razor before my two eyes. With confusion, I flung the debris off and continued to shave my leg before stinging and blood pooled at my feet. The entire side of my leg now covered in blood from the seven inch gash from my upper calf to my ankle bone pushed out blood in ungodly amounts. Fear struck me as I debated on shaving my other leg and finishing showering before calling my dear mother for assistance. One rag, towel, and many gauze bandages later the bleeding was subdued and the injury was taken care of. I spent the rest of that night hobbling around and having to explain to my guests why my lower leg was covered with an Ace bandage wrap and gauze. The only comment of that night, "Maybe you should stick to being a wooly mammoth."
    Hope your New Years was half as good as mine or even better. I would hope for better. Welcome to 2015.
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