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  • The only feeling that raged inside her was fury.

    Meanwhile a team of specialists tried to save his life and invested 8 hours in his open – heart – surgery; she sat there in the waiting room and fumed.
    How could he have done this to her? Having had chest pains for a while and NOT consulting a doctor, NOT telling her a word and instead growing addicted to continually more strong painkillers by the day?
    Leaving her with all the troubles, the mortgages, the two mentally sick adult daughters, his ailing mother, his mentally sick brother?
    They had found the potent painkillers in his trouser pocket and her older daughter, accompanying her to hospital, who was barely out of rehab and clean since a few months, took the pills and under the stress of the moment wanted to drop a few into her own mouth. She had barely been able to rip the pills out of her daughter´s grip. They had stood there staring at each others´ face as if they were deadly enemies, war – screams had escaped their throats, while they had still been sure that their man would die.
    They saved his life. Today he had returned home. And she was still in outrage.

    Besides attending the business, feeding the animals, cleaning the house, bringing her daughters to diverse groups and counselors, she now had to learn how to take care of him, how to cook for him and attend him in every necessary way. He could hardly walk, and still just talk slowly and his jabber was barely understandable.

    While he rested in his bed she went to the kitchen to cook some vegetables for him. The daughters were fighting about what to watch on TV. The cow mooed and was eager to be milked. If she did not pay the electricity bill tomorrow the light would be off in a few days and the weatherman had forecasted the first snow of the year.
    She needed to sit down. Once her elbows touched the tablecloth on the kitchen table her fury switched into an ocean of tears. She sobbed and she cried and she sobbed and she cried. She could not stop until she the carrots had turned into a few charcoaled pieces of shit in their pot. The pot also needed to be thrown out now and that is exactly what she did then….

    Photograph by Kiki, Butchard Gardens, Vancouver Island

    This is a true story
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