We split a bottle of champagne and I was in such a mood that I put a pink star on my champagne glass and took pictures of her looking at me through the glass.
My body was on fire and the fire had consumed me and eaten me alive. Weeks without sleeping or eating. Staring at the sun, trying to keep my eyes open. Each day was like the psychotic nightmare from the past.
The pictures in your house moved and the walls talked and I didn’t want to say anything to anyone except for shut up, please.
I had washed you out and you had nothing in your house to eat and it was evident that you could not take care of me without causing a scene. I asked you to hit me with a brick, a very specific way that I wanted you to render me unconscious so that I could slip off into another planet for a while and come back as a functioning person capable of handling change.
I closed my eyes and said my prayers and watched the walls move in on me and call my name.
I took a picture of myself in the reflection as I often do.
Good night good night sweetheart you’re coming down. This world has no place for you.
I saw the ship on the wall moving and the waves crashing. The pink flowers danced. Blur winked at me and I smiled back at him.
I had to learn that there is strength in the duplicity.