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  • “ Why?” I’d ask myself as tears would stream down my cheeks, “Why cant I

    have a family of my own? Why did this have to happen to me?” “ This is all your fault!

    Why was I hated? That’s what it felt like at least, “ Maybe God just doesn’t like

    me.” I would tell myself, “ He doesn’t move in my life.” I turned to his enemy, Satan, I

    thought he would accept me, give me my desires if I sold my soul to him. My spirit

    became infested with anger, hate and resentment. “ Your worthless!” Times always

    passing but pain is engraved and sewed into the eternal clock of our life’s. Have I

    become a reflection of my uncle? “ Your worthless people only get with you because

    your easy, no one really loves you! That’s why you cant hold a relationship for more

    than three weeks! Your not loved just lusted to those who cant do any better.” Have

    I really sank this low? Making someone think a blade is the only way out? As usual

    time goes on, months,

    “ Hey, how are you? “

    “ Good, you?”

    “ Has anyone ever told you about Jesus?” Defenses go up and skeptically I answered,


    I tell him about my past and he says something like, “ God forgives all sin,

    Jesus loves you. “ How, how could God love someone like me? How could he forgive

    me? Weeks go by and I confess,” God! Forgive me of my sin! Change me, make me

    brand new, Jesus come into my life and change me! Cleanse me of my sin.” God

    wrapped his arms around me, God showed me his love, Its God who filled the voids

    the pains of abandonment that time could never heal, He did it in one moment. He

    gave me new eyes and a hearts that overflowed with his love and joy. He gave me

    love for people who I don’t even know, forgiveness to my parents, aunt and uncle

    and people who have done me wrong. He taught me how to forgive because He

    forgave me...He adopted me into his family, God keeps really good books, I know my

    name is written in the book of life, not by my words or my good deeds but by Jesus

    purposely living sinless and flawless all to know he would sacrifice his perfect

    innocent blood for someone like me, like us, sinned and flawed.
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