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  • Here is an example of a lie burp: I was listening to the radio today. There was an earnest woman explaining something about male fertility.
    I remembered back twenty years to a time when I was sitting in the sitting room that didn’t have any seats or even much of a carpet and my partner was telling me he had just had his sperm tested at the doctors. He said he had got into a conversation with the doctor about the machine that measures the sperm. I remember being amused that he was even worried about his sperm - we weren’t hoping for children until he had made his millions from the computer game on the BBC micro that I had bought him.
    As the earnest woman talked I had the lie-burp - the sudden new realisation that things weren’t as I had thought back then. In the intervening years I have discovered that my partner (now ex-partner) had a child with another woman during the time we were together. The lie-burp was the sudden realisation that the reason he had gone to the doctors and had his sperm tested was probably that he was validating whether the child was his – and not because he was interested in the machine that measures sperm or in whether we might ever have a child.
    I really am very gullible and seem to have enjoyed complicated relationships. It means I often have lie-burps. They often repeat the flavour of the time very vividly. This one was full of the smell of our doctor’s waiting room - boiled cabbage and wax polish.
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