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  • My partner and I play a game called Creative Truth or Dare. We give each other two challenges each week: to do something creative that we've never done before and to write an answer to a question about creativity. Last week my partner asked me: "Why do you want to be a writer?" This is my answer.

    I have an unstoppable urge to express something about my experiences. I find the whole 'being a thinking/feeling/wondering/hoping human' a fascinating experience. Each time I make a new discovery about what it's like to be the human called Bastian I want to share it and see what other people think and if their experiences are similar or different.

    I want to connect with people and I like to do this via words because it gives me time to organise, process and recreate my experiences in a way that will be the closest I can get to the heart of the matter. When I talk I always feel like I'm spiralling around and saying a lot of things that are almost but not quite right. But when I write, I get close.

    I like how calm I feel when I write. It's not a lonely experience. Avoiding writing is a lonely experience. Being in the world with no way to make sense of suffering is lonely. Writing is always exactly where I need to be, absolutely what I need to be doing.

    I like the physical experience of pen and paper and of seeing my words fill up a page on a computer screen. I like to build, and I like to put words together in such a way so I know that when someone reads it, they will stop for a moment and feel the deep meaning underneath the words, transported through those words, and that one moment will be so meaningful it could change their whole perspective on something.

    When they have that experience, they will feel connected to me as a writer, but more importantly, they will feel connected to the shared experience of being a human living in this world. The moment of deep connection is similar to when you remember to look at the stars at night and go 'Wow' and feel at peace with the mystery of the universe.

    Isn't it funny that we think we know everything and yet we don't even really know what the universe is? We certainly don't know all that it contains. It's a wonder that we can go on every day not knowing this. But humans have been telling stories since forever to try and work out this conundrum and how to live and be at one with the inability to know everything.

    I take my personal life as my own universe to explore in stories. When I work out a tiny part of the inner mysteries it helps me to harmonise with the much larger universe. I want to explore and share that in my writing because I know we're all in the same boat, looking for a steering oar to move through life.
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