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HALLOWEEN IN THE FAKE TIMES!
It’s Halloween here in this issue of The Fake Times! Join me, Cigano, in a horrific thrill ride through this issue which began with a hilariously spooky spoof of the classic-yet-never-old movie Jaws!
Halloween in my neighborhood is really great. It’s really a dog eat dog-eat-dog world! You’re hardly ever at the top of the food chain! (Mwah, hah.)
So remember: while you read this issue of The Fake Times, don’t become fish food!
INTERVIEWS OF TERROR
CIGANO: Ready for some ghoulish Q and A? Yes? Then let’s welcome our first guest star—star of the upcoming Treehouse of Horror
episode for the 26’th season of The Simpsons—Homer Simpson!
HOMER: Hello, creepy guy—d’oh!
CIGANO: So, Homer, have any special previews for this upcoming Treehouse of Horror episode?
HOMER: Yes, but the producers won’t let me tell that—d’oh!
CIGANO: Uh, never mind. How is it being a superstar?
HOMER: There’s a lot of donuts.
CIGANO: Yeah, I think you said that to everyone who’s asked you that question.
BART: Hey, everybody.
HOMER: Boy, get out of the scene.
BART: No thanks, Homer.
CIGANO: (Strangles him.) Why you little…(Looks at the staring audience.) Oh, sorry. That was your part, Homer. Well, I guess that’s the end of this interview. Sorry for strangling you, Bart.
BART: It’s okay, Man.
CIGANO: Thank you both for your time. And now we move on to our second guest star…from the famous horror movie A Nightmare on Elm Street—Freddy Kruger!
FREDDY: Hello, everybody.
CIGANO: It’s just me.
FREDDY: Oh. Hello, whatever your name is.
CIGANO: Hello, Freddy. What’s it like being a national source of terror?
FREDDY: It’s kind of like being president.
CIGANO: Okay…that’s a…good comparison. Anyway, do you like it?
FREDDY: Of course I do, whatever your name is.
CIGANO: Is it fun?
FREDDY: Yes. It’s like…a breath of fresh air straight from the tomb.
CIGANO: Okay. Thank you for your time. And now our final interview for today with the shark from Jaws. So, tell me, what’s it like being a killing, chaos spreading Great White?
SHARK: SNAP! SNAP!
CIGANO: Okay, that’s that. Thank you for your time. And thank you, reader, for reading! See you next issue, in November!
NEXT ISSUE: NOVEMBER 2014