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  • Yeah, so uh I was walking down the street the other day, to go fetch me mum some garments from the linen store. As I was walking I saw this homeless man sittin there, (as from what I could tell whether he was homeless or not) his head was clothed in a stocking cap, with a green dirty coat, he was just sitting there on this bench, nothing but a raggy clothes in the cold autumn weather, as I walked by I thought to myself well I better get this man some money or loose change, as I reached into my pocket I stopped myself and thought, this man has obviously been getting loose change from people all day, I should give this man something more. I continued on to the shop.

    As I got what me mum needed, and got myself a little something, I walked by the same street again and that man was still sitten there, he looked like he was in his late 20s dark skinned, blonde and black shaggy hair hanging from underneath his cap from what I could see, I saw that he had bought himself some rum from the loose change people been giving him, and he was sittin there drinkin in public! I kindly walked up this man with my bags, and I sat down beside him on the bench and asked him to stop drinking in public. I swear he looked at me dead in the eyes, with his red eyes and said, "why does the rest of the world want me to stop?"

    "No not the world, but I do, I don't think its good for your health." as I cleared my throat, and I can remember this perfectly because he kept taking a swig everytime I asked him to stop, I simply asked this man over and over again to stop

    He looked at me, and he finally put down the jug, he glared at me and asked in a bit irritated voice, "The rest of the world walks by, yet you want me to stop? If I stop drinking then wot? You expect me to clean myself up, and make this world a dandy place whether you want it to or not? Well that can't happen whether you try."

    I looked at this man in curiosity, "Why do you pertain yourself as someone who doesn't listen, or have a bit of decency for that matter, I know people like you, you see yourselves small in a big world."

    " Your wrong, I don't see myself small, I see myself as a big f****** giant who walks the earth and step on whoever I want!" He smiles as he takes another drink and offers me a sip, I rapidly decline. "Its just that the world doesn't care for Giants anymore, it doesn't care for heroes or you and me for that matter."

    "Well obviously it doesn't care because your not in the spotlight, your not on peoples attention or mind, people like me pity you, we have sympathy towards you. When people like us offer something we hope that you take it" I said outta a bit anger, but yet an understanding voice

    He laughs at my answer, "Its obvious you never been in my shoes, let me show you what its like, you see you people hobble around your daily lives worrying about what someone is going to say, what someone is going to think of you, what your going to watch tonight, or going to a party where in hopes you feel socially accepted and trick your mind into thinking you live life right believe I've been there, and I have lived it" He lights a cig and offers me one, I decline again, he looked at me frustrated and said, "And another thing to, why do you blue gills decline things from people like me, when we offer you SOMETHING we hope that you take it!"

    I look at him in a bewildered look, and thought to myself, it is rather rude to decline someones offerings, I gradually take the cig and he offers me a light, I decline and pull out my lighter.
    As we both sit there in silence I finally spoke, "I knew that you would offer me something as such as a cig. It was rather rude of me not to introduce myself."

    He takes another puff, and says, "I knew you would sit down and talk to me. Names James by that way" we shook hands

    I look at him rather in an amused look, "How'd you know that"

    "From the Second I saw you staring at me, I knew it meant rather 2 things, A. you wanted to talk or B. you was gunna rob me. I've been here for a week now, and people been giving me their filthy, loose change, I don't want their money, but yet they still give it to me, just the other day something walked by and called me a bum who should get a job! I mean for F**** sakes! I can walk into a business office and say 'Give me a job' but thats not how it works, not anymore, the 21s century came in and kicked the 90s back with Ronald Reagan."

    "Well if its not that easy, then how did you end up like this?"

    "I ended up like this because I was a young dreamer like you, ready for the world, ready to take on life, and having fun soo many times" He flicks the cig "But one day it just stopped, and I was on the High Roller coaster, and it went down, and stayed down. You see you have 2 choices in life, you either can stay down, or keep going...so what you gunna do?"

    "Thats easy, you keep going."

    "Okay so you keep going, and lets say you have a family, a Girlfriend along with a cute kid who has the most memorizing smile you ever saw and lets say this kids like 6 months old, that's when there gunna start be demanding in food, diapers, and enough money for the rent. So you have to make a sacrifice, you either move and start over or risk it all by paying the rent with whatever money you have left.

    "Thats...um a bit of a difficult one"

    "You see! you took on life and you don't know what to do"

    "Hang on I'm just thinking for a bit"

    "Well I'm gunna make a choice for you! You laid off food and diapers and paid rent!"

    "Thats not fair!"

    "Lifes not fair mate!"

    "You can't make a decision for me."

    "I just did, besides already made that decision, because I knew starting over would be rough, whats the bigger risk, putting your family at risk of possibly no home, or home, but no food and diapers"

    "Well I guess your right- wait how did I even end up in something like this!"

    "Relax I'm just putting you in my shoes and see how handled it'

    "I don't really handle things if you keep making choices for me"

    "Okay I'll let you pick this last one mate, but it sort of has a scenario with it" I nodded my head and ready myself, "Okay so your girlfriend left you for some prick, who has no d**** for that matter, she took your kid with her, you end up alone, and you see no purpose in working...because you don't have a family to support, you loose all your dignity because you're no longer protecting anyone and you feel like you are no longer a man, you lose your apartment after you got fired, and now you live with friends who party and drink, but kicked you out because you broke their sodding X-box after too much drinking and they threw you out like you were garbage to them, now you sit on a bench drinking and thinking about where along the lines you messed up." He eyes swell up in tears, "Now you have two choices while your sitting their drinking you either drink and think about what went wrong, or you see a poor sodder who has no clue to life or choices because his blue gills are filled with soo much cash that he practically breathes it, and the only thing you can do to feel "normal" again is to talk with them like their normal just to feel that sense or purpose of belonging again." He pulls out his wallet with a picture inside as he shakes his head, tears stream down his eyes."

    There was a still silence between us, as the man who was insulting me before is now crying before me, the man who I thought once knew now losing himself, This poor man- No, poor James who lost everything he had, just to offer his own advice to feel a bit "normal" on the inside. He once had a normal life, he was once like me, but now he's broken, stuck in this life, because life wasn't fair, here I was ready to give James my loose change just to feel like I was making his life any different with 76 cents in my pocket.

    It wasn't to make James life better with 76 cents, that 76 cents would of never made a difference, this was my act of kindness, interacting with this guy. I never thought I would of known this guy, who he was or what happened in his life, to just make him give up just like that.

    That 76 cents was just to put MY mind at ease with tricking itself into thinking I was a good person, just by helping out a little, when we know little is never enough, give everything you have just like the bible, but yet I don't call myself a christian or anything I considered myself a good person at heart, when all this time I wasn't aware of what was around me.....

    After sympathizing with James I pull out my wallet, gave James 35$ and give him a blanket I bought the the Linen store, and told him to stay safe, and I wished him well, as he wished me well. We both said our goodbyes, and after that I never heard from James again.....My mind wished that he got back with his girlfriend and he got his family back, but yet in reality I don't really know what happen to James.



    -M
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