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  • My writing yearns for informality. I form sentences in grammatical and structured ways. But that’s no way to tell a story to offer humor to give an authentic spoken voice. What story can be told of modern times written as if jane Austin spoke of Elizabeth and Mr Darcy? I am not Bridget Jones and I do not have a diary of witty self-loathing interludes.

    Every day I’m having single girl experiences. Me and Ursula went snowboarding. We hung at the bar until closing in our snowboard gear with the bartender and his friend visiting from Long Island. John G – who drives a camero, owns a Harley and had a regrettably PG experience with one of his High School Teachers despite the fact she threw herself at him.

    You don’t know discomfort until you’ve worn your snowboard boots 5 hours too long.

    What does Trimming Weed refer to? I can only assume to take it literally, but it’s an attractive turn of a phrase that may imply other things, though my feeble mind cannot comprehend.

    Went on a 1st date with some one who kissed in the most tender way I couldn’t turn him away. Also it was nice to be “taken care of” – haven’t had that in quite a while…

    Going to sleep alone is one of the most miserable things. The good news is Champion Sports Bras are on sale 20% off – at least – so there’s that. Don’t want to just jump into a relationship; I like being single. But yet night after night there’s no one to laugh with or complain to or confide in or touch. Want both things - the cake and the eating of the cake. Must learn how to enjoy baking a cake and then giving it away gracefully without craving a taste of said cake. Where is this metaphor going? TV always fills a void, but then it’s over and real life shines it’s harsh light at said hole and the void is back. Stronger? Could be. Hard to tell. Like a 2nd day hangover. Stronger and with more sense of depression and loneliness. But I got a new snowboard and I cannot wait to take it to the mountain.

    Something to learn from the movie industry is that life around you can be comfortable – customizable. We can see our surroundings and make them work for our goals. like taking out a wall or rearranging a schedule. I aim to sort out such wrinkles in my life as well, but where to start?

    What is the bug to be devious? What is it that when a stranger shows you attention it validates your existence. I have an extreme fear of loneliness – rejection – time be myself – more to list that don’t come to mind just yet. Yearning for the comfort of a familiar chest to lay my head on… Reach out for a feeling of irresponsibility. Reach for a feeling of dysfunction.

    More legs – more tan – more brass – more secrets undiscovered. Plead and beg. Shout and laugh. You walk by 20 mirrors in the course of a day and every time you check to make sure you are the same size. That somehow in the last 20 min or 4 hours, or 3 minutes – whatever the gap of time has been- you did not slim down into that miracle supermodel physique you dream you could be. So glance, and, phew. Still the same. No one panic.
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