Thank you for showing me the ropes for being a "man" but please understand this father, I absolutely refuse to be like you...do you remember all the pain and suffering you caused with your drinking! and Smoking! Do you remember what me and my brother had to go through just to get you to understand that life isn't about winning. For constantly not being more than winners. Do you know what you put us through for 12 years of my life that I cannot take back because of you! All those times we were dirt poor! Constantly moving and having friends scared to come around because they don't know if your dad is sober or not. Having no money to buy new clothes every school year, and being made fun of because of our clothes were old, and our shoes had holes in them. I had enough of you staying with us in our lives, and I'm glad I left 12 years ago, because mom took better care of us than you did! but.....the worst of it was you caused us all pain, and we didn't tell you that you were failing at being a father because we were scared!
So Father when I write you this letter please understand its not to accuse you or degrade you. Its to thank you for showing me not what to do, for showing me that you tried to be there at times when mother couldn't for showing me how to tie my shoes at my first Pow-wow gathering. For showing me to smile at the funniest things. For showing me how to fish, hunt, and skin a deer. For showing me that even though we were poor we still enjoyed small things, even on the days when you were sober, you took all of us camping and told stories of your "talltales", I love how you would always include yourself as the main hero and we would believe it. My friends and I looked up to you as our superhero even though you made those stories up. I like to thank you for teaching me many things even though you was a drunk.
Father you missed many years of us growing up, 12 years total of what you missed of me and my siblings I am a man now, I have a child of my own along with fiance'. Her name is Amber, she's a very sweet girl I love her along with my son Lyric who is only 6 months old. I like to tell you father that you have lived the day to become a grandpa, you wasn't the best father around, but you was still my father, and even after my mom left you, you still managed to hang in there for us. I know you didn't mean to be mean or pushy, but you wanted the best for us, because you knew the life you gave us wasn't perfect so you taught us to never give up, to always keep going in life even though its not the best. So with that being said Dad, I like to say I love you dad, and I hope that one day I'll have the sense to mail this letter to you one day, but not today dad, no not today, maybe tomorrow, maybe in a week from now, maybe in a year, but I just want to hold these words because a bridge gap separates us and I'm still waiting for a letter from you.
So I like to say after 12 years is I love you dad, even though it wasn't the best days but your my father, you taught me many things in the dark situations we both lived in.
So smile old man, the tears are in the past, and the possibilities are in the future :)
Sincerely, your son