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  • i was in a dennys with my friends

    after the bars had closed

    the girl i had my only one night stand with

    was there too, with her friends

    i don't know her reasons

    for having sex with a stranger

    mine was my heart

    a girlfriend had broken up with me

    and promptly left the country

    on a “honeymoon” to Bali

    with a stranger

    at least to me

    the one night stand girl

    never came to my table

    i never went to hers

    though she furiously texted me the whole time

    she asked me to come over

    for a second night stand

    then called me an asshole

    for not wanting to

    the truth was i just wasn’t into it

    we met at a gay club

    i was drunk

    i think she was flattered

    she got a gay guy to make out with her

    maybe her beauty was capable of conversion

    but i wasn’t gay

    so

    we went back to her place

    and i wanted passion

    to wash over me

    to take over

    i really wanted that

    but i just felt depressed

    that a naked girl

    who i didn’t know

    was on top of me

    i didn’t even know

    what things would make her laugh

    her hands were in her hair

    all over her body

    mine were by my side

    i wanted to disappear

    into the bed

    just sink into it

    and come out somewhere else

    somewhere i would realize

    i can't use somebody else

    to heal my own heart

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