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  • I.

    I realized my shirt was on backwards halfway through a mediocre lecture in my AP English Lanuguage class (where I probably should have been paying attention to the AP test prompts we were studying on the screen in expectance of the test, 3 days later.) Which was 3 hours after I realized I had worn two different striped socks under my boots during the Chemistry lesson on enthalpy and entropy. (Apparently they have something to do with each other.) When it’s cold and dark at 5:45 on a rainy Tuesday morning, I don’t care if my socks don’t match. Sometimes the thought of rain clouds moving across the sky is too intriguing.

    II.

    My raincoat hood was ruffled over my damp frizzy hair from the midday shower I just walked in from, as I descended down the staircase to my last class of the day. The 2 binders, 1 pair of boots, computer charger, bottle of water, and loaded backpack were weighing down my spirit. I looked like death. I glanced over to my 3 blonde friends waltzing up the stairs, smiling the best pathetic half-lipped smile I could muster through smeared eyeliner to grab their attention. I was flat out ignored, a recent occurrence that had been making major appearances all throughout the week. The girl behind me on the stairs said “sorry”. I thought she was going to tell me she saw how mean my friends were to me, and how I didn’t deserve it, and ”fuck them” and that I’m better than that. But she just said

    “I think I stepped on your shoelace”.

    I mumbled an “it’s ok” as I dropped all my books in front of couple #1 making out feverishly at the bottom of the steps, before collecting my papers and bumping into couple #2 who smirked as my hair fell into my face.

    I saw the boy I'm in love with hold another girl's hand, rounding up to couple #3.

    I looked straight forward until I stumbled into math class 2 minutes late.

    III.

    Mom was out, so it was dad’s turn to cook. We ordered pizza tonight and got to eat it on the couch. My mom would have had a fit. I think I ate too much. I wanted to put my fingers down my throat, but I cried instead. Dad’s a messy eater. I cleaned up his crumbs before I went to bed. I didn’t fall asleep until my brain got so tired at looking up at the icicle lights hung on my ceiling that I couldn’t realize what was real and what was a dream. I cant wait until the fucking sun comes out.

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