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  • This morning over Skype

    I told my lover

    I bought a new dress

    more feminine then my usual

    'It's like someone took over my head'

    I said

    meaning

    I bought this dress to wear for you

    He said 'show me'

    In my small room I pull the dress off it's hanger

    the computer impassive on the table

    my nerves prickle

    I put on the slip, do up the long zipper

    tie the black ribbon

    under my breasts

    substantial in red lace,

    they are what started this whole thing

    I find myself suddenly wildly regretful and shy

    thinking this is the definition of vanity

    In front of the camera

    feet in gym socks planted

    out of view

    My torso looks massive

    all curves and sentiment

    I try to imagine him

    hunched over a blue screen

    cheekbones shining in the dark

    in Taipei

    remember instead

    the length of his body against the sheets

    All the times I wanted to stare

    and didn't

    feeling greedy or incorrect

    Last time I saw his face

    he had a beard

    Like a farmer from the American south

    Or a blues musician

    Not my mohawk-ed art student

    A man

    I send the files one by one

    the wait is the distance information has to travel.

    Saying "it's old fashioned I am not sure if you will like it"

    perched on the chair shivering in winter

    the lace itches my thighs

    Luv

    Luv

    Luv

    it

    He replies.

    With a smile.

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