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  • When Nabokov stops liking little girls

    When Ginsburg stops liking little boys

    When Crumb stops liking fat bottom women

    When Nin becomes monogamous

    When Bukowski stops drinking

    When Burroughs stops shooting smack

    When Kesey stops taking LSD

    When Gysin stops staring into the dream machine

    When Pryor stops cursing

    When Carlin finds God

    When Kinison respects women

    When Hicks beats cancer

    When Elvis stops shaking his hips

    When the Beatles get haircuts

    When James Brown stops being black and proud

    When Jello Biafra turns Republican

    When Pamuk becomes a Turkish nationalist

    When Solzhenitsyn embraces Stalinism

    When Voltaire becomes a monarchist

    When Ai Wei-Wei molds a bust of Hu Jintao, and not ironically

    Then, and only then, will I shut the fuck up

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