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  • If you've read anything else I've written, it's pretty apparent that I really do not enjoy my struggles in life. You also understand that I'm willing to get by and keep pushing on. I've been asked on multiple occasions how I remain strong. Honestly, it's not easy for me. Not at all.

    I am constantly looking for every single option available for me to escape real life. Writing, Video Games, Reading, Movies, TV. I am constantly becoming emotionally attached to fictional characters and am fully immersed into the world that surrounds them. Some people wonder why a character's death made me cry, or why I get so excited/pumped when something new happens. It's because that fictional universe is my life.

    Why am I so obsessed with Star Wars? I'd much rather be watching Empire Strikes Back then dealing with the everyday struggles of being a teenager. My closest friends are the people I've never met. The ones who don't judge me because they can't. But they can be there for me. Cheer me up when I'm down. There's not many people I know I can count on to do the same. Luckily though, I've been blessed with a few.

    Why do I write so much? Why is it so depressing? Writing allows me to scream out emotions that will hurt people if I say them to their faces. Things I need to get off my chest. Because I know what happens if I don't let them out. If I don't cry. If I bottle things up and "get over it". I eventually lose control and the situation becomes worse than I can possible imagine.

    I don't really know why I'm writing this. I guess I just felt like I needed to get this off my chest. Like I needed to apologize to anyone who reads my depressing rants or who disagrees with my views on the world. Because I'm not giving up on life just yet. And that means that this isn't stopping anytime soon.

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