It's easy to describe a relationship that has conflict and disconnect.
A relationship that just works naturally is a lot harder to put down in words.
People keep asking me about my trip as if it's this monumental, strange sort of thing. It definitely was a big milestone, but for me the experience felt like a natural progression in my relationship with Lisa.
I know I've mentioned before that we have a remarkable connection, but maybe I didn't express it very fully.
We are very similar in our temperaments - we're both easygoing, open and expressive. When we feel things, we feel them strongly. We have intuitions about one another and other people that are spot on. We process information in similar ways; we are analytical and intellectual. We both were raised in conservative households; we both have gone through challenges to those modes of thinking. We also have strong father figures in our lives who gave us a sense of security and stability.
We're both a bit dreamy; we struggle with knowing how to set our expectations. We both are a little (sometimes more than a little) hard on ourselves. We're getting better at that.
We just click on so many levels - I'm barely scratching the surface. Lisa just effortlessly understands me.
But timing is everything. A few years ago our lives weren't ready to intersect. I got in touch with Lisa when she was just beginning to bounce back from a rough divorce. Sometimes the heart just seems to know when it's time to do something. If I had tried to get in touch earlier, she might have withdrawn because she felt she wasn't in the right place emotionally.
I think that part of why Lisa and I have such an extraordinary relationship today is because she didn't raise me. We don't have the same friction or history as a typical parent and child. We get to be adults and share the things we have learned through good times and bad. We look at things from a perspective of responsibility and choice. We share struggles, questions, and dreams.
I feel so lucky because to me this relationship is like a second chance. It's a relationship I never could have imagined up five years ago. Lisa trusted me to my parents when I was born, and that seemed like the end of the story.
But it wasn't.